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Zombie apocalyspe guide

by 1215

Here's the full featured list of supplies and preventative measures to take when zombies attack your futile neighborhood in the suburbs and knock down your lily white fence while eating your wife's jeans to get to her hairy ass, because you know she stopped shaving once you got married.I reviewed the list and am proud to call it 100% useless becaus...

Topics: just incase

Joan Krajewski sucks at life

by 1215

She's part Irish. Wait. Part? Ha. Not even from Ireland, so you have no right to speak. How the hell did you become a councilwoman anyway? You obviously have zero sense of humor and are so bored with your job that you whine and make people hate you even more than they previously did. Stop crying that a Spencer's (hello, it's a fucking humor store...

Topics: politicians who suck

Witnessed a boob assault

by 1215

Then this girl was like "yo, check out deez titties" and I was like"damn girl, them some fly ass titties, how much you want to pull them pants up up higher than your belly button?"And she was like, "yo nigga, I'll do it for free, but you gotta stop staring, cause you ain't gonna be getting up in any of this any time soon."Then I said "fuck you then...

Topics: funny

FML

by 1215

Ever have a night where you don't feel drunk, then the next thing you know, you're waking up covered in marker, tampons in your ass, and wearing your mom's underwear? Yeah, me either.I'm usually the one drawing on people like you. But this time. It was my turn to be the victim.Thanks....

Topics: drunk

Back when Halo was actually fun...

by 1215

The "you're temporarily banned if you quit, but sometimes you have to quit because matchmaking is so damn bad" rule sucks.It sucks having to press three buttons to just back out of a game and a fourth to begin a new one. Before we could press ONE button to back out, and many buttons to check stats. Now we have to press many buttons just to back out...

Topics: halo